Let me say this…today’s post is going to be straight from the hip, heavy hitting. This is the kind of stuff I have to go in hard, with my VIP clients because once they get over this hurdle, business (and life) run so much more smoothly for them. It comes down to you learning to ignore your critics. . .
. . .even if they are your family and friends.
Here’s why. . .
Familiarity Breeds Contempt
There are two popular instances where the bible warns of this:
(Here is my favorite version of the bible. It’s an NKJV parallel Bible that makes reading the bible easier to understand, without diverting away from the original text. I hope you enjoy it, as much as I do!)
The passage in Mark is very interesting because Jesus went back to Nazareth (his hometown) to teach and preach. The very people who knew him as a little boy and grew up with him were questioning his insight and wisdom. It even says “they took offense” at him.
He wasn’t able to do much work there because of their offense and criticism. He finally decides to leave his hometown, but not without saying this:
“A prophet is not without honor, except in his hometown and among his relatives and in his own household.”
Pretty profound, huh?
The same holds true for all of us.
We have spent our entire lives around our family and friends.
We’ve probably even asked ourselves, but what will they say? Especially, when we’ve chosen to answer the call and step into our calling to build businesses for His Glory.
They’ve seen the good, bad, ugly, and pretty side of us.
They know us well and we know them well.
We value their input, opinions, and perspective about all matters of life. However, because they are so close to us, we have to discern whether their “feedback” regarding our decision to build a business is coming from a genuine place of concern or criticism.
That whole thing about familiarity breeding contempt is real!
Simply because family and friends are close to you, they either:
- Feel entitled to speak any and everything into your life.
- Feel entitled to know every and anything going on in your life.
- Feel entitled to offer their unsolicited opinions about your choices in life.
Those “entitled voices” are often very critical voices.
You’re going to have to learn how to ignore your critics. Jesus did!
What You Really Need Are Boundaries
You see, so many good, Christian women business owners oftentimes suffer from not having the appropriate boundaries with the people closest to us in life.
I’m not exactly sure where it stems from, but what I do know is, it hurts our efforts at building successful businesses. It’s the thing that oftentimes causes us to give more credence and credibility to the critics, than the truth and strategies we know it will take to build a successful business.
You’re going to have to learn to put down a demarcation line and stick to it.
Yes, it might be hard at first.
But let me tell you something from personal experience. . .
Having good, healthy boundaries with your family and friends is liberating!
It will actually allow you to become the woman God has designed you to be without fear, unrealistic expectations, or limiting beliefs imposed upon you.
There’s a great book called “Boundaries” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. I HIGHLY recommend it! These two authors help you to literally draw personal property lines around your life, create safe spaces, and live with a freedom that will allow you to define who you are in Christ. You can grab this book on Amazon or even listen to it on Audible. (Or do both, like me! #nerdgirl)
New to Audible? Here’s 2 FREE Audible Books, as a new customer! Start listening NOW!
Be Selective With Whom You Allow To Speak Into Your Life & Business
When it comes to business and people criticizing your efforts to build something from the ground up that will leave a lasting legacy, you’re going to have to. . .
Put on your headphones.
Head nod to your favorite song.
Keep it moving.
Point blank. Period.
No more asking yourself. . . But what will they say?
Here’s the deal, unless the people criticizing you have run a successful business and know the ins and outs to this lifestyle, their opinions are often laced in fear, compromise, and complete misunderstandings of what it really takes to start and grow a business.
Often their words are words of criticism, discouragement, and “caution” will make you want to quit!
You can ignore your critics and still be a good Christian.
You don’t have to be rude and nice-nasty.
(That’s not exhibiting the Fruit of the Spirit.)
What I am saying is that you have to take what they say, weigh it against the knowledge you have about business, plus the wisdom and experience of those who are running successful businesses (aka your teachers and mentors), and then decide if it’s advice you should keep or discard.
THEN what you MUST DO is get with a group of like-mind women who are growing businesses and understand what it takes. You can join me on my Facebook Page. I offer encouragement, support, and love to women business builders, just like YOU! Consider me your personal cheerleader!
You may even have to get a coach, who’s “been there, done that,” and can guide you down the path of entrepreneurism. (I have a coach that I get on the phone with twice a month and she helps me with business and life matters.)
This is the kind of thing I coach my VIP clients on.
The mindset stuff.
The family and friends stuff.
The “ignore your critics” stuff.
See, if you thought building a business was just between you, your clients, and your computer screen, well you’ve got it all wrong.
Building a business is about LIFE!
Your family’s life.
Your community’s life.
And any other “life” God wants you to impact for the glory of His Kingdom!
Wrapping It Up
I just have one thing to say. . .
Ignore. Your. Critics.